One cold morning I was getting dressed to hang out with my mom and her friend. I was a little under the weather, but didn’t think nothing of it. I got myself together, we went out, and we grabbed some breakfast at the near by Mcdanlads. When I walked into the restaurant, I didn’t pay attention to the fact that the smell inside of the restaurant was making me nssueated. I proceeded to order my food anyway to see if I could fight back the nausea feeling that I had. Within 30 minutes of me eating my breakfast, I threw up. None of what I ate was able to stay down. My mom’s friend has mentioned, jokingly, that I could be pregnant. Both my mom and I denied it. She didn’t what I had done with my husband when she wasn’t looking, and I certainly didn’t think I was because we were careful when we were together.
Me being paranoid like I am, I decided to go to planned parenthood just to make sure that I wasn’t. I didn’t really believe that I was. I had a bit of anxiety but didn’t think twice about it because I figured, we used protection so I had nothing to worry about, right?
Boy was I wrong! I took the test and, Surprise!! I was told that I was going to be a mother….. at 17.
I was in shock! I didn’t expect a positive test at all. I didn’t know what to do at that moment. After the doctor gave me my results, I went out to the bus stop waiting for the bus to come back around. Once I got past the shock I became confused.
I thought to myself, “How could this be? We were careful, or at least I thought we were.”
After the confusion settled I became scared and worried. Before even thinking about the next step, I had to figure out how I was going to tell my husband (boyfriend at the time). You see, our odds weren’t in our favor. Two weeks before I found out I was pregnant, Hubby had to move to Georgia (3000 miles away) with his family. The timing couldn’t have been any worse.
I had many worries going on in my head.
- How is he going to take the news?
- Is he going to be let other ‘typical’ guys and say it’s not his?
- What is his family going to think? Will they think that I am trying to trap him?
- Is he going to ask me to get an abortion?
- What is he going to say?!!
My mind was racing, and I started to cry on my way home. I was disappointed in myself and the choices that I had made. I was embarrassed and felt ashamed. The last thing I wanted to do was let anyone down.
Once I got home, I was able to calm down enough to get my courage up to call my hubby. My hands were sweating as I was dialing his number. My voice shaky as I try to find the right words to say. My heart pounding out of my chest as if I was about to have a heart attack. Something like this was serious. It was BIG news, and I didn’t want to fumble over my tongue. I was in fear of what was to come, but I knew I had to be ready with whatever response I had coming my way.
“Hello,” I said.
He replied with, “Hey Babe! Man, I miss you.”
“I miss you too, so much.”
“Whatcha doing,” he asked.
“Nothing, just got back from the doctor’s office.”
“Oh no, you doing ok? What’s wrong?”
I became silent at this moment.
“Hello,” he said.
“Yeah, I’m here,” I replied.
He asked, “What’s going on? Why did you need to go see a doctor?”
“Well…. I just found out that I’m pregnant.”
“Really,” he asked.
“Yes. Really”
He responded with, “Well…. I love you, and I promise to take care of you and our baby. I guess this means it is time for me for me to get a job.”
“Really? That’s it”, I asked, not believing what I had just heard through the phone.
“Yes really, what more were you looking for,” he asked.
“Um, you tell me that it’s not yours. You saying you don’t have to take care of it because you are long gone. Anything other than what you just said”
He replied with, “You should stop watching tv. (as he laughs at me like I just said a joke) I would never do something like that. We are a family now and I love you until the end.”
“Wow, I didn’t expect that. Thank you and I love you too.”
Can you believe what he said? His reaction was completely different from what I was expecting. I was totally in shock. I was at a lost for words, trying to figure out if it was a dream or not.
Over the next 8 months I worked hard to get my diploma before my son was born. I took independent studies thorough the public school system. Going to school one day a week while I worked 4 other days out of the week as a hostess and a waitress at a local resturant. I had unconditional support from my Mom and her friends. My Dad was gone due to being in the military so he was busy with work. Times were tough, but I was determine to stay on track and finish.
Even though hubby was so far away, he made sure to call me and check up on me daily. He couldn’t come back to stay with me because my father inlaw wanted him to finish as much of his Senior year before our son came along. We both were mad that we couldn’t be together during my pregnancy. He missed everything, and I felt alone. But we understood our parents reasons. They were only looking out for us. His father had finally bought him a ticket to come out 2 weeks before my due date.
I had ample support of my hubby, my family, and his family. It was tough for us, but we managed to stay on track and keep things moving. We moved out of our parents home at 19 and haven’t looked back. Only moving forward, closer and closer to the clouds. People say teen parents can’t become responsible parents. They say that they can’t have a long last marriage. A stable environment for a growing family. The odds were stacked against us every step of the way. However, we fought through them, and made it our common goal to fight the statistics and the labels that were set on us the day I found out I was pregnant. It is important to us to be good role models for our kids. Teaching them that even thorough adversity, you can overcome it all and find your way.
People have asked us, if we had the chance to do it all over again would we. Our answer is, Yes! Yes, we would. Why, do you ask? Because we are happy with the way our lives have turned out. Sure our son wasn’t planned, but he was no accident either. He was the beginning of something wonderful. The starting piece that got this game of life rolling.